A Middle Eastern Fairytale

by Ariel Danino

Ariel’s Twitter is https://twitter.com/arieldanino

Many years ago in a faraway land, among breathtakingly spectacular landscapes, there was the Kingdom of Anarchy.

The Kingdom of Anarchy had not always been the Kingdom of Anarchy. In fact, it had been initially established among many anarchic kingdoms around it, and its founders always boasted that it was "the only country in the region where there is no anarchy".

“Look around," they would say to their residents. "Look at the jungle that surrounds us. It’s so very scary outside. Come to our spacious castle. It's pleasant and fun here, and there's a lot of security.”

And so they passed many years calmly and peacefully. In fact, no one can pinpoint when the young kingdom turned into the Kingdom of Anarchy. It was surely a process that took many years.

The elders of the Kingdom of Anarchy can still tell you how it began. "Once," they say, "there was no Anarchy even in the middle of the big cities of the Unicorns. You could go in there in a normal car, and buy things in the market. No one would even say a word. One soldier could guard thousands of Unicorns. Then, there was Respect. Today? Today even the soldiers dare not enter the big cities of the Unicorns. Do you know what goes on there? Anarchy." They recount, and take a sip of tea.

Then the anarchy also spread to the lands of the Camel Riders and Tent Dwellers. There, in that area, say those in the know, “if you leave a car for 3 minutes there will be nothing left of it. And if you open a business, you will have to pay maintenance fees, otherwise the new restaurant you invested all your savings in will burn down.” It sounds strange, sure, but these are The Laws of the Kingdom of Anarchy, and The Law is The Law.

Later, The Laws of Anarchy spread to the north as well. There, those who do not obey The Laws of Anarchy may find themselves attacked by entire clans that maintain order and anarchy in the region. If, say, you raise a flock of sheep, it may be that one day it will no longer be yours. Well, that's another Law of the Kingdom of Anarchy. It is important to respect The Law, even if you do not understand it.

But the anarchy did not stop there, it continued on and on, and one day in the middle of the biggest city in that kingdom, they discovered that the road was blocked. A large bonfire had been lit in the middle of the road. Drivers got out of their vehicles to see what was going on, but they encountered dozens of Anarchy Guards, equipped with whistles, trumpets, and signs. "Don't get out of the car, the road is blocked," said the Anarchy Guards. “According to The Laws of the Kingdom of Anarchy, we have decided to block here now. Drive around. Or stay at home. We don't care if you have an autistic girl that needs to get to school, The Law in the Kingdom of Anarchy does not make exceptions for autists. And this Law is the main thing, isn't it?” Of course, the drivers went back in their cars. Nobody wants to be confronted by the wrong kind of Anarchists. To add even more to their fears, there were rumors that these Anarchists had stolen tanks from the army.

But it seems that even when the anarchy spread all over the beautiful kingdom, in one place, on some high and beautiful mountains, there were some crazy people who did not agree to accept the new Laws. They would still go to democratic elections every few months (that's how it is in that Kingdom, there are very frequent elections) and occasionally they would cluck their tongues at the news from the rest of the kingdom. "It's just not right," they would say and keep scrolling Twitter.

Near those beautiful mountains, there was a village, quite ugly and very unaesthetic to be honest, as everyone would build their house how and where they wanted, throw their garbage where they wanted, and park their car where they wanted. According to The Laws of Anarchy in that village, the Unicorns who lived in the houses next to the road had the right to do whatever they want. They could throw stones, Molotov cocktails or just shoot. Occasionally they would also hang flags of the Kingdom of Anarchy, so that anyone who enters the Kingdom would know that they have to respect the Laws.

The Laws in the place are known to everyone and everyone respects them, because it is very important to obey The Law. If the Unicorns throw stones or shoot, you just have to put your head down and drive away. These are The Laws of local anarchy.

But one day, something terrible happened in the Kingdom of pastoral anarchy. Some Unicorns took a rifle, and shot to death two young men who came from the beautiful mountains. Of course, immediately after the incident, the leaders of the mountains rushed to announce that of course, we do not intend to do anything following the shocking murder, because we must not take The Law into our hands, and according to The Laws of Anarchy we must put our heads down and drive as fast as possible. But some young men, lacking restraint and discipline, decided they were no longer capable of restraint. They went to the Village of the Unicorns to regain a little of their lost honor. A number of Unicorn homes and vehicles were severely damaged. The brave and beautiful Unicorns locked themselves in their houses and did not come out. "What will happen to the Anarchy we have built here for years?!" they asked themselves. "Anyone who wants to defend themselves can do that?! Who has ever heard of such a thing?! It's just crazy!" said the brave Unicorns hiding inside their homes.

The brave Unicorns sat down for a council meeting. At such an hour, they should have been eating baklava and shooting fireworks. (It was simply a basic Law in the Kingdom of Anarchy, after a successful action you have to eat baklava and shoot fireworks.) "The delicate Anarchy we built here with our ten fingers could fall apart at any moment! We must find a solution, " said the Unicorns to themselves.

Then, an idea occurred to them.

They recruited Anarchy Guards from other parts of the country to help them and started publishing pictures of their burned vehicles. "Look what they are doing to us!" they cried. (They didn't bother to mention whose cars they had been, because according to The Laws of Anarchy in that place, if someone has left their car in the parking lot, you can take it and it is considered yours.)

"They are breaking The Law!" cried the Unicorns as loud as they could.

"Damn Anarchists, look what they are doing to the Unicorns!!!" tweeted Anarchists all over the country.

"Don't take The Law into your own Hands!" followed a choir of important public figures sitting in their heated deerskin chairs.

"It's time to stop these outlaws!" Knesset members, desperate for screen time cried at the top of their lungs, in front of every open microphone in the area

And indeed, after long hours, several tear gas and stun grenades, and lots and lots of tweets on Twitter, peace returned to the Village of Anarchy. And since then, the Unicorns continue to throw stones (according to The Law!), the Camel Riders continue to steal cars (according to The Law, of course!) and in the big city, Anarchists continue to light bonfires in the middle of the road. Not because they want it or anything, but simply because that's what The Law says. And The Law, as you know, must be respected. Peace and tranquility have returned to the streets of the Kingdom of Anarchy.

And the young people, what about them? you ask. They have returned to their homes. Until next time. Maybe.